hmmmmm....

blog19

This is really bugging me...Long story but I have a question??? Maybe one of you guys can help me figure it out, but I was doing research about outside generators. They can be very dangerous if you don't install it correctly apparently. Well, is it possible that if you do get electrocuted that it can go throughout the body and affect the brain in any way? I'm just trying to figure this out cause my bf's dad went from some great guy that would come home on the weekends or whatever to visit, and ever since he installed an outside generator, he hasn't come home since...He's been away working supposedly and he hasn't gone home in 3 months...My bf thinks he has another woman now, but what I'm trying to figure is how does a perfectly normal man turn instantly into a cheating jack ass?!?! My bf said that after his dad installed the generator, he kissed his mom goodbye and shook his and his little brother's hand and left. How weird is that?!?!? Omg this is really bugging me and I obviously had to blog...

Another random thought actually. What's up with twitter? Is it like this or better? I'm so confused >.<

Currently Listening to: "Strawberry Avalanche" - Owl City

seriously?!...

post18

Who in their crazy mind would honestly want to stay with someone that's a jerk and probably doesn't even love in the first place?!?!

Sorry but I have cousin that is being stupid and it is affecting all of us especially her girls which kills me. She can easily get out the situation, but no she won't no matter how much advice my parents give her. It's like it's going through one ear and out the other... >.> Dang I mean c'mon now?!?! Do it for you girls and stop being selfish. Yes, she's the type that always has to be with someone which really annoying...and she tries to use her good looks and innocence to look like the victim, but now I'm not so sure anymore. She's known to take advantage of people too, so now I really don't know anymore...

I can't stand seeing her girls get hurt. They take it so differently. The little one doesn't know how to deal with it and screams. The older one just tries to ignore and pretend she doesn't hear anything. I wish I could talk to them and see what they're feeling, but I never really get any time with them and I don't know if they would open up to me...I just my cuz would leave the idiot, get an apartment for her girl's sake instead of stalking the dude not giving him any space to think and figure out what he wants -_\ He's not a family man at all. I've observed this. Well I'm done ranting for now bleh...wtf I'm hungry o.o Thanks a lot Taka! xD jk

Currently Listening to: "Thinking of You" - Hanson

Back on my feet

blog17

Ok well those are the pics of my halter top from my previous blog i talked about it in.

anyways...

I went back to my dance studio for the first time in forever. It felt kinda weird. Idk I guess it's because I feel like I've put so many people down even though it wasn't really my fault...but yea I didn't get to do much...It still made me happy though. According to the doc I should be fine performing in my dance recital thank God^^ I won't be in as many dance routines as I should be, but it's ok. I seriously would've died if I couldn't even be in my dance recital...-_\

So random facts: finally figured out what my major is; Fashion Design woot! lol. It kinda sucks though cause if I figured it out sooner, I could've went straight into the school I'm planning to attend >.> Oh well, everything happens for a reason I guess. At least I figured it out with help from Jess. "Thanks Jess" lol...well I'm dead and I should get some sleep. Going to graduation tomorrow >.<

Currently Listening to: "Cantilena" - Adiemus

yay for insomnia...

post16

I've been summoned to come back and blog several times. Since I can never sleep anymore, I'll come back when I remember to xP

As some of you know already, yes I do have a bf. He lives in Michigan, but our bond is so strong and amazing. Words can't describe/explain it. Otherwise, I would've never considered doing a long-distant relationship. I finally heard his voice for the first time today! Long explanation, but basicly he stole his brothers mic. that he uses to play freakin online video games with and we got to verbally talk to each other lol. It was a great surprise. Even when things get funky, we can always put it together. He makes everything better shoot...I miss him lol. Randomness.

I wish I didn't have to sleep. I could get so much more things done and possibly fit some actual time hanging out with everyone especially you guys that blog lol. Shoot I could sew and read more...Omg you guys I sewed a halter top a few days ago. I'll take some pics. It's a pretty good first atempt^^

I'm kinda hungry and thirsty... >.>

Currently listening to: "Time to Say Goodbye-Con te par" - Romanza

I hate this part right here...

post15

So um yea I haven't been on here forever >.<

I started nauseated and almost puked, but I didn't stop me from being sad. I felt awesome on my fashion midterm! I walked through the Arts Department and they have a little waterfall that feeds into a little pond. There were rubber duckies all around and inside and I was like 0.0...lol! haha yea hecka random.

Saw my buddies, love you guys. Then I went home and after my mom told my dad he's suppose to take my sister to her ortho appointment so I can rest my knee. And what does he do?!?! He makes me take her with my broken ass and I'm tired of hearing him argue and yell so all I could do would just stand there helplessly... After he left I broke down crying because it's so frustrating when I finally agree to rest my knee and give dancing a break, he doesn't freakin care and makes me make it worse!... T.T

I got a call from my dance instructor checking on me. Then she said that she might have to pull out one of the dances I'm in for the next dance competition that's coming up in two weeks because she doens't want me to get worse during rehersal. She also doesn't want me to get permaneatly injured, but idk I'm just so frustrated I can't think. I'm stressing out cause I have a project that was suppose to be due today but luckily my prof. wasn't here to collect it and I have one more chance this thursday, but with my knees messed up I can't really go do it since it involves going to the mall and other stores...I dont know how I'm going to pull it off, but I need to do this project...-_\

Currently Listening to: "I'm Only Me When I'm With You" - Taylor Swift

Never cared for Valentine's day...

Post14

Sorry I haven't been on for so long. My lack of sleep has finally got to me and I almost puked this morning before I had to compete. Yea I had a dance competition this whole weekend for those of you that didn't know.

What started it all was me getting stuck teaching the 3-5 year olds at my dance studio Saturday morning. I had to cram and get my hw done and do a quiz the night before, so I got about 4 hours of sleep. Then I had to run around with those kids for two hours. Next, run home and went straight to the competition. Didn't get home until midnight. Then had to wake up at 6 this morning and almost puked. Shoot I almost cried ugh...whatever.

What got me yesterday was seeing all these guys give their dancer gf's roses yesterday for Valentine's day. It reminded me why I never cared for Valentine's day. Never had anyone to share it with...Even though it made me wish I had a bf, I've learned to accept that I might never have one...-_\ But I hope everyone else had a great Valentine's day.

Well, I'm going to go crash again in a bit. I really feel like crap..

Currently Listening to: "The Climb" - Miley Cyrus

Cause Your Hot then Your Cold!

Blog13

I had a very interesting day...I tie-dyed t-shirts for 4 hours with one of my dance friends. We're doing a fundraiser to help us pay for our competition fees. So, now my hands look like it has some skin disease from the red dye xD

When I was following my friend to her house, there were a bunch of kids on the sidewalk. And they apparently went food shopping cause they were eating cereal right out of the box?!...O.o It was hecka funny though. You just had to see it xD

Then I got stuck in traffic on the stupid freeway coming home hecka exhausted after getting eaten alive by mosquitos. I was dead I could barely focus on the road....

Level 90 Priest woot! xD I'm going to start on my assassin today or sunday which it's going to be in a minute anyways lol.

*Currently thinking certain guys are stupid idiots...so annoying*

Omg my friend Nik randomly IMs me. And now we're going to have lunch on Thursday O.o Is that ok Jess?!... LOL xD

Currently Listening to: "Carry On Wayward Son" - Kansas

You just see right through me but if you only knew me we could be a beautiful miracle, unbelievable instead of just invisible...

blog12

So you're probably wondering what's up with this pic of a broken fork. Long story. Ok so this was leftovers that I brought to school for dinner. The fork was a cenemeter too long so I bent it slightly just so I can snap the lid shut. 30 minutes later, the fork randomly breaks inside and literally exploded so the actual container jumped. Everyone at the table KT etc. busted out laughing. That was my highlight of the day.

This is what I ended up doing because my friend bailed on me...I'm never going to see him I swear...so I went to pick up some more drugs that I'm hoping will work before my doctor tries to kill me. -_\ My dance instructors are trying to break me so yea. You'd think I'd be dead already, but nope I failed...

I almost cried today because when I was dancing, my lotion exploded in my bag. It drenched my phone and I thought my phone was going to die. I tried to clean it off as well as possible. Everything worked perfectly fine until my mom called...I could barely here her. Stupid lotion ruined the speaker...-_\ the headset works fine still so I'm not giving up my yet! I like it too much...

I have so much going on in my mind. I can't think anymore...I have so much to do in school, I'm so overwhelmed. I think I'm going to break down soon... T.T

Currently Listening to: "Invisible" - Taylor Swift

Blog11

Blah I'm at school. I'm sore from dancing yesterday. Yes, I got to dance for the most part yesterday woot! :D I had Subway with Jess too awesomeness.

I finally found out that i am a potatoe!!!!! -Jess

Anyways...what I was going to say was I finally found out how to finish the stupid packet I have to fill out for math ugh...stupidness...

So, I have tons of crappy hw to do and I have to pick up my perscription and go to physical therapy in a few hours...I wonder what they do O.o

Food time!!! xD

Currently Listening to: Jessica saying, "Chicken Chicken Chicken"

Even heros have the right to dream...It's not easy, to be, me.

blog10



I can't believe I missed two days of blogging. I fail life...xD I've been so busy that I seriously crashed at 8pm a few days ago O.o



4 of my classes have junk online. 3 of them use d2l so I blame stupid d2l for making it easier on the professors to add more freakin work and quizzes online. >.<>



I'm trying to type this blog while April and Taka are IMing eachother on each side of me and they are saying what they are typing outloud. xD And I might kill Taka apparently regarding her last blog. So, I'm going to check that blog now muahahaha!!!



So, my head hurts kinda and I think I'm going to need glasses soon cause of my stupid classes requiring me to be online all the freakin time...



I should be going to my math class to take care of an issue, but I'm too lazy thanks to this stupid laptop which goes back to blaming these stupid college classes. Now I really have no choice, but to be a freakin loner now ugh...oh well that's perfectly fine with me no offense :P



Currently Listening to: "Superman (It's Not Easy)" - Five For Fighting

If roses are meant to be red and violets to be blue, why isn't my heart meant for you

Post9

I had one of the most boring days...but I got to spend time with Jess so that's all that matters^^

I woke up all nauseated like usual. Went to school and pretty much did nothing. Then Jess and I went to Johnny Rockets and felt tons better. We got milkshakes yuuuuuummmmm^^ The jukebox hated us though ugh...

My friend Jordan texted me when we were at Johnny Rockets. He has been my friend since elementary school and is the only one that I talk to from there still. He always had my back and I always had his. He literally lives two streets over from where I live, but I never see him...He had a crush on me senior year in high school apparently. I love how he decides to tell me after high school...-_\ so annoying, but whatever. I actually like him, but I'm scared to get involved with anyone anytime soon. Plus I don't even know if he likes me...He says he doesn't want to be in a relationship and I don't know if that's just towards me or in a general sense. I don't know if I would ever have a chance with him...I'm just confused ugh...stupid guys...-_\

Then I went home to watch my sister. Got all sick for some reason and crashed on my bed and woke an hour later feeling even more crappy...-_\ I ate and played ro. That's about it. Yes, I know lame.

I feel all sick again so I'm going to go now...

Currently Listening to: "Halleljuah" - Paramore

I hate this part right here

blog8



Sorry but I'm going to have to make this quick cause i'm about to pass out and die.



No I'm not in the war this month sorry, just so much going, I still love you guys^^ I still like the title rules so I'm going to steal that for a bit lol.

This morning was horrible. I had to go home because parking was a bitch and my dad had to drop me off at school. Then I had to take the bus home. On the bright side, my knee is feeling better and I got into the "Pulse Tour" for So You Think You Can Dance!!! It's a dance worshop thing so yea it's going to be hard since my instructor put me in the advanced group >.<

I went to jamba juice and spoiled my fam with some. I went to Fry's and bought me a mouse that actually works woot! My mom bought me some Garlic & Cheddar Sourdough Bread from Trader Joe's omg so good!

Talking to friends online and texting of course. Taka gave me "Yellow's theme" from Loco Roco yay!!! Now I'm going to die. Good night. Much love.

Currently Listening to: "Everything'll Be Alright (Will's Lullaby)" - Joshua Radin

Avoiding...kinda failed

blog7

Today was poopy. It took me 30 minutes to walk to my math class from the parking lots with crutches...it hurt so bad ugh...then I tried avoiding certain people by laying on the grass outside. Too bad it was freakin cold! >.<>

Then, I got to go back in the cafe and hang out with my friends that actually do love me. After that, I went to my circuit weight training class and got done in 15 minutes O.o lol. Went on the grass again. Saw Krystal and Carolina. We ended up going in the cafe cause they were hungry and I was freezing to death. Dustin and them were in there, but we hid behind peoples at a table far away...I don't know how long I'll be able to keep up this "avoiding" business, but I need time. Or maybe I'm just not strong enough to show my face again? Who knows...

I went to Bio and literally sat on my butt for 3 hours straight omg...I felt my head about to explode >.<>

I went to Kaiser to pick up a new perscription for my knee, but it wasn't even there wtf...I didn't fracture my knee, but I did damage tissue apparently.

Then I went to my dance studio. I bought chinese food and kept spilling the orange chicken sauce on my cell phone ugh...Went home and talked to my friend Jordan on AIM since he doesn't get to go online often.

I'M GOING TO KILL YOU DAVID FOR PUTTING THAT BLOG OF ME OMG!!!! >:O

Currently Listening to: "Superman (It's Not Easy)" - Five For Fighting

Not Focused

Blog6

I started school today technically. I only had one class, but at least I got to my friends that do love me. I'm definately going to like tuesdays and thursdays this semester. I even got to see Jess today^^ She made me homemade mac n' cheese in return for her cell phone charger that she forgot at my house lol. I also gave her part of her christmas present I forgot that I got for her. I still got finish David's and I need to remember to bring KT's >.<

Stupid crutches are cuting me alive. I have scrapes below my arm pits. I got a blister today from them and it stings... T.T oh well, I'll deal with it. Tomorrow is going to be worse I think cause I'm going all over the freakin place gosh...>.<>

Omg almost forgot. David gave the most cutest card ever from Santa Cruz!!! thank you David^^

I haven't been able to focus on my hw much. Reading about writing is kinda boring...but I'll keep trying to stay awake. Luckily the quiz I have to take on the chapter got moved to Saturday^^ Still doesn't mean I can't stay ahead so I'm going to try and distract myself and stay focused so I don't have to deal with some people that I might end up seeing tomorrow...-_\

Currently Listening to: "Ever Ever After" - Carrie Underwood

blog5

Jess stayed the night. I fell asleep faster than usual, but I kept waking up ugh...I ate a baked potato with butter and sour cream to make me feel better.

I went to my dance studio and then went to eat out with my fam at Macaroni Grill. Their strawberry lemonade was so freakin good. When I got my food, they seriously stuck two Evergreen tree branches in my food O.o Yea, kinda awkward...

Came home and cleared off my bed for the most part, got some stuff off the floor and did some hw.

My mom decided to interupt me when I was trying to do hw and called "a family meeting" which pissed me off and annoyed the crap out of me. Now I'm too tired to take a shower ugh...so annoying. I start school at 9am too, but I'm going to make sure it'll be a good day because I get to see the people that I'm pretty much going to hang out with for the semester if I even get to see any of you...stupid class schedules. Yes, I'm avoiding "the group" as a whole...I'm sorry, I hope those of you that are reading this understand...It just hurts too much and some of you know why and I'm just going to leave it at that.

Mk. Hope to see you all at school sometime. Just call or preferably text me when you're on break or something and hopefully I'll be in the cafe if I haven't left yet. Good night my friends^^

Currently listening to: "Who Knew" - P!nk

The Longest Walk Ever

blog 4

Today was pretty easy-going. I went to church. My friend Tom ran off though before I could say hi...stupid cripleness. But I got to say hi to an old friend J.D. that I have known forever.

Went shopping with my fam at Costco which was the longest walk ever with crutches omg...>.<>

Then I got Jess and we went to April's and played video games, eat, hang out, and saw other friends. So much fun. It made me happy for once.

About to go to sleep. My last thoughts for tonight; I'm starting to accept the idea of being single and happy. I don't need a guy to be happy. I've been blessed with so many talents that involve helping others and I couldn't ask for much more except for me to recover. I have great friends and family that love and support me. Not to mention endless love from God that knows what he's doing. Not exactly what my real purpose in life is, but I will find out soon. I'm just going to do what I need to do and what I think is right. Maybe I am being called for the "single life" so I can help everyone and not be commited to just one person.

Okie dokie. I need to get going. Much love to you all! School in two days, oh joy lol^^

Currently Listening to: "Sky" - Joshua Radin feat. Ingrid Michaelson

delayed

blog 3

Ok this is really suppose to be for Friday the 17th, but I had a really long day. Sorry about the delay. I woke up freakishly earlier than my usual. I had an orientation at 9am for my online english class. It looks like it's cool, but very hardcore. I already have to read a chapter that consists of 20 pages and a quiz due on wednesday...No slacking aloud in this class >.<

Archana (Urchin) did Henna on me woot! It's so beautiful and love it since each one she does is unique and never the same. Then again she never knows what to do at all. She just does it on-the-go. She made eat first before I got it because she's mean, but oh well. I went to In-N-Out and they were busy as usual. I prefer Archana's chai tea hehe Mmmm^^

By the time I got home, my family all left to visit relatives up in Fairfield and I had the house all to myself fun stuff woot! No not really...my mom called me giving me a freakin list of things to do...I didn't mind doing it, but then I had a stupid migraine again, and my tummy didn't feel any better from the day before...just my luck. I was hoping a friend of mine would be able to stop by and visit for awhile, but he was at his aunts already. The whole family went out to eat without which was lame cause he could've been hanging out with me but nooooo...What I found random was that he doesn't have minutes on his phone so all he uses a phone for is to text. 0.o alrighty then...I got anxiety for a bit because of a stupid jerk. Some of you might know who I'm talking about...I really wished my friend was with me...He would've made me feel better, but I can't get too close. It's kinda complicated. Otherwise I just texted peeps and IMed my other peeps lol. Totally did webcamming. I should go to bed now, but I might end up doing hw...

currently listening to: "Love Story" - Taylor Swift

Waking Up On the Wrong Side Of the Bed

blog2

I had a horrible start this morning...I almost puked from not enough sleep. I ran into two things, dropped 5 things, and was so out of it that I didn't remember texting Jess practically instantly like Dori on "Finding Nemo."

My armpits hurt from going all over ARC getting everything I need for school. I got all my books, got my prerequisite for english, and my sticker. It was so funny when everyone in line for prerequisites was hating on Taka cause she took forever xD

Went to FHS to see friends and one of my teachers. I didn't get to see another thanks to my dad making me babysit my sister since he's too lazy to take her to my mom's work...

I had a migraine and tried to take a nap to get rid of it, but I couldn't fall asleep as usual. Something is definitely wrong with me...I was able to trick my brain in thinking I slept so I was able to get rid of the migraine successfully.

When my mom came home, she brought a new dwarf hamster home named "Magic." He is so cute! He's very fast. She also surprised me with the cutest gift ever. It is a turtle with a night cap on. On the shell it has the Constellation. It lights up in white, blue, or green and you can see all the stars! It made me so happy. I love it and I hope it will help sleep better along with listening to music.

Currently Listening to: "Come Down to Me" - Saving Jane

Continuing the Past

So I use to blog on another site back in jr. high, but got really busy. Being in college isn't going to be any better, but everyone should know that I'm stupid and that's ok. I just need a place to be myself, get my feelings out, and rant when I need to. I figured this would be the perfect way to do all three of these things.

I haven't gotten barely any sleep for the past. I don't know what it is, but I have yet to find out. All I know is ever since I hurt my knee from dancing a month ago, the constant pain doesn't help much either, but I know there is something going on subconsciously.

If you don't know already, yes I'm injured, yes I'm on crutches, and I'm going insane from not being able to dance for over a week now. It breaks my heart to see my friends being able to dance, but I have to sit out and watch...I had x-rays done today so hopefully the doc figures out what's wrong with me, otherwise I'm going to have to go through physical therapy...I knew one day I would have to stop dancing, but I didn't think it would be so soon...I'm praying that it isn't a severe injury and I will be able to recover before dance competitions come starting mid Feb.

I got to drive my mom's new Nissan Altima today! It's so amazing^^ It doesn't even have a key. Long explanation, but I get to take it down to Long Beach when I transfer so I'm excited!

My friend Faith visited me at home. It made me happy especially be crippled and all. And IMing Jess and Taka made me feel better as usual. Big shout out to Rabbiman for suggesting the website to me and so here I am yep.

So I should try and go to bed now. Good night everyone.

Currently Listening to: "Come Down to Me" - Saving Jane